Dreams and Reality

First of all I am so sorry for not posting yesterday. I promise to make it up. Probably it was a result of being on bed and n medication that I couldn’t post.

But yeah a weekend truly spent sleeping all the while, one I always wanted. One of my friend had suggested me that probably bed rest recommended by a doc is the best time to think about your life and internalize. But however important it may be, it can never be as fun as the dreamland of mine. Oh I so much love just lying down and coming in and out of my sleep. So much love it when you are awake but stay as much in your dream.

It is really lovely when the dream and reality become inseparable. I really would appreciate it if I get to a stage when normally I attain this feeling. When your life is just a dream and your dreams become a reality. When you know that any suffering in this life is not real and when you know all the happiness in your dreams is real.

This would be what I would call the ‘Nirvana’.

 

Congrats Pratyush!!

So it’s a really really happy day on campus for me. My best friend on campus, Pratyush has got a job and I am extremely happy and trying to figure out a way to to get it out ( for I cant dance or jump around, since its only the first day of my F***** 3 day bed rest ). So it feels really good to at least be able to write that down, not that you can express feelings in words, and get it out using any available moving parts of my body i.e. my fingers for typing.

Now we 3 have a job and still 2 months to spare in college. The last one and a half years have just flashed through and have seen many ups and downs but mostly ups when hours were spent having laugh riots and dayz spend while studying ( sssshh no one needs to know what all we did), there were outings the nights before our exams. Pratyush is my first friend on campus and a lovely one too.

I know 😡 u r reading this to zyada nahi likhunga nahi to tu udne lagega.

So where I was? Yeah, so yeah now PS and PG are both placed and so we possibly have a huge quota of bakar to be still CUT(I didn’t know what you do to bakar in English :))

Finally many many congratulations to Pratyush Shastri for your success and all the best for your future (which I already  know would be bright 🙂 )

SHAME!!

So it happens to anyone and everyone to us. We criticize the government for corruption, politicians for their demeanor, actresses for their smaller dresses and frivolous affairs and what not. And everyone and mind you, Everyone, here behaves as if he is actual representation of Ram Rajya in this world and is the perfect person on earth.

And one of those people is me. I stopped cheating in exams once I figured it is wrong. I would certainly not indulge in things that I think are wrong. But the best part of not doing wrong is that you get to decide what is right and what is wrong for you.

For I decide that cheating in exam is wrong but copying an assignment is not! For I get to decide that drinking alcohol is bad but having it as an ingredient in your high profile supper preparations in not. These things don’t get you and your soul. Probably, because it is finally about PERSPECTIVE.

But in spite of always thinking that what I do is right and feeling proud about it, I was put to shame by a frivolous action of greed. Today I ordered a pasta parcel at an outlet and when I went back to get it the waiter handed over me a packet with pasta and garlic bread. Confused I thought maybe he has given me someone else’s packet. I went out then realized it is wrong and turned back.  But then again changed my mind saying may be it is meant to be. And finally came down to my bus screwing my integrity. And probably the extra bread sufficed for all my guilt.

Then suddenly I realized something. It was the complimentary bread u get with pasta. The feeling of shame got me. I bet it was not anger on my foolishness but pity on my small thinking. It is not because I did something wrong but in fact because my intentions became wrong. On the judgment day if I am asked why I did this, I can’t even blame PERSPECTIVE.

At times your higher sins may be forgotten, but the smaller sins that you do may never leave you.

 

Standing up for myself

After signing on for the ‘Post a day’ at WordPress, the whole day went about thinking about the stuff I will blog about. Already it seems that the life has upgraded from what should be my facebook status to what I will I blog about today.

So it was a plethora of topics that I siffled through over the full day but finally as it usually happens what I remember the most i.e. the latest that happened is what I am going to blog about.

So now usually my line of thinking has been to take it all unto me and give back a smile. So whether it be some sarcasm or some jibes thrown over at me, the response was always to smile or at most just be quite. In spite of it not get my heart and soul sour and never ever give it a second thought.
But just a small incident that happened while I was coming back to campus from city made me revisit my thoughts or probably my strong held beliefs. So, let me make it very clear that it’s just revisiting them and not challenging them yet.

So it happened when over a menial comment of a friend I felt a question deep inside me. Why is that even when other people may not agree with one another or may be think in some way similar to me always end up standing on the other side than where I do. So this happens every time whether I am in an argument or its just a casual jokes and comments. It inevitably happens that my friends end up on the other side and I feel alone.

So this post is not about my internalization of what is going wrong, but just a statement to me that I am bloody well sick of standing alone. So if it can’t happen that there is someone standing with me than I would better not stand there at all. So it’s a decision to not take it anymore. Coz probably my say nothing needs to be in limits after which it becomes oppression.

 

I’m Posting every day in 2011! Let me at least give it a try

I ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog once a day for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore asking for others’ help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

Naveen

Cinderella Story

Cinderella was a girl with not much dreams. She was ill treated by everyone. Her step sisters or her stepmother or her father never treated her with the respect she truly deserved. In fact she was the recipient of any bad time that anyone was facing. So if her stepsister had an argument with her boy friend, she was the one abused; if her mom fought with her dad she was the one to get the bashing.

It was very similar the day when it went over the roof. Her stepsister had a breakup with her boyfriend and she vented out all her anger on her. Cinderella was abused and even got kicked by her sister. Cinderella was sitting in the courtyard crying and cursing her luck and lord & angels who were so unfair to her. That moment an angel appeared before her and said “Don’t be sad my girl. We are not unfair to you. Don’t think of yourself as unlucky to be on receiving side of all this frustration. You share our work, to take our grief from this world. You share our workload of relieving people and you shall never go unrewarded. Whenever someone is hurt and he hurts you and becomes happy, just think that you are serving the lord’s purpose of removing that hurt from world. And your tears will never go in vain. You will be rewarded for lord’s work.” The angel disappeared and the rest is still a fairy tale.

The failure sage:

Once there was a sage living in a village, he was neither famous nor known. He used to live his simple life, offering his daily prayers and trying to cure people with his unseen miracles. He had one disciple who knew deeply about this magnificent personality much more than others and who was being once taught by this sage about the miraculous power of curing diseases.

The question posed by the student to him was “If you have so great a power with you, why don’t you cure the ill instant they come to you. Your patients always get cured days after they leave here and then someone else gets your credit and you are a simple failure in everyone eyes”

To this he smiled and said “the effect of medicine is as much in it as in it’s intend. The moment a medicine seeks fame and glory for itself the power of the intend dies. The people whom I cure should never know what cures them. This ensures my power stays with me and I don’t fail in my purpose”

Saying has it “Your left hand should never come to know what your right hand gives.” Only then you can retain the quality of humility.

 

Children’s Day

I miss the childhood days but more I miss myself. There are a few prayers I would like to offer if I could get back few treasures that I lost

1. I used to ask questions, without even thinking if it s a good one or not……… The conditioning from society has snatched the gift from me. Please I would like you to give it back to me.

2. I used to always see good in people, never even doubt anyone in anything………… I wish I could have that trust back coz it’s not just others but it’s also ME that I doubt today.

3. I used to giggle and laugh even at the sight of Jerry smashing Tom’s head with a pan…… It’s been so much time.. I miss my own giggling so much.. please give it back

4. I used to sit and watch TV for hours without even knowing the concept of time wastage… Now I need to check my diary even to wake up and sleep

5. I used to dress up as a toy hawker in fancy dress just for the reason that the toys would be mine after that…. I wish I was no more shrewd that, it doesn’t feel good

6. I never used to care about anything coz that’s what parents are for.. I just want to feel that secure once more

7. I used to know I can fly or swirl as shaktimaan…. I would love to feel the confidence and faith back in me

8. I used to eat and make my clothes dirty with no one raising eyebrows… Today even when stains are good, I hear tch tch every time I make mistakes….. I want to make more mistakes and want everyone to know that yes I was not born perfect

I would love to do all this and a lot more…. I wish I could be a child again. These days I am not even wished Happy Children’s Day  😦

Spread Your Wings

When we fear, we lose.  Being a proponent of living your life as you want, I many a times confront people too scared, too intimidated by the world to celebrate their own success and do what they enjoy. Coz they don’t just lose the opportunity but also, as Rowling would say, every time they deny their soul what it “truly desires” and “truly deserves” they rip apart a part of their soul, never to come back.

The world may have tried to bring you down a lot many times, but you always stood up. You brushed aside all the failures and went ahead and today you have won. But if you still think you don’t deserve to celebrate or you hide your happiness coz you are scared what others would think, you have lost the purpose and you have finally lost. Don’t lose, believe me there are people out there still, who want you to win.

“An eagle never flew with its wings closed; it did always spread them even when she was hurt”

REELY RANDOM

Should I or not

is not the question

but it rose above it

in the very beginning

Its about what and when

and why and why not

coz I see something

and others other

Its all about perception

and even when its not

its about it not being

coz finally it matters

When I tie my shoe lace

and get up from the couch

the first stretch feels like

The battle will be long

I cant stop for a while

coz its what I chose

life is not about stopping

but being on the move

When face a hurdle

dont try and play

just move around it & see

on sides another path lay

We like structure

but hate to achieve

we like what we are

unstructured jeeves

The random thoughts

should be random all

If meaning found

Its purpose totally falls